looking under the hood

I thought I'd start 2021 with giving everyone a peak under the hood of my writing process. Creativity manifests differently for different people, but for me the process has always been iterative. I start with a (very) rough outline of what I'm trying to make and then slowly add layers to flesh it out. Many years ago, I used to do a lot of painting where I'd add layer after layer of washes to build up to the intense colour I wanted—turns out for writing I do the exact same thing.

A month ago I posted the first chapter from my current work in progress here. It had already gone through 5 or 6 rounds of edits to get to that point, and I was pretty happy with it—but I knew it could be better. Since then, I put a lot more time into it and sought some professional help that really helped me pin down what I wanted my characters to sound like (from here).

Here is the new and improved chapter (odds are good I'll be working on it more):

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Hwicce hit the ground, the servos in his battle armour groaning from the impact. He sprinted behind a ticket booth made of simulated sandstone and dropped to one knee. Whirring fans whisked away the scent of his exertion as he paused to get his bearings. 

The heads-up display in his helmet provided a flashing green line to show where he needed to go. Blue call-signs marked the location of all his platoon members. As his team landed all around him, they spread out in the pre-planned formation heading towards the fire team objectives. 

Creating a billow of dust, Baker landed off to his right. The rusty metallic coating to her armour glinted in the bright light. She raised her weapon and scanned the casino that was their target. 

“You good?” he asked.

Keeping her gaze focused on their objective, she gave him a thumbs up. “I don’t see any movement. Sir,” she said over a private channel.

“Even though this is a routine sweep, stay sharp,” he broadcasted to his team. “I expect everyone to make it home in one piece.” Raising his pulse rifle, he shifted to get a view of the casino. “Sound off.”

“Alpha squad is in place,” Dogan’s voice came over the comms. 

“Bravo squad’s got the rear,” Fin said.

“Charlie’s to the south,” Chang answered. 

Hwicce confirmed their locations before he stood. Their battle cruisers above had already won the space battle, but a lot of work remained for ground troops like his platoon. Intel said to expect resistance from the multiple groups of Nader Alliance soldiers hiding in the area. 

“Stick to the plan, everyone,” he transmitted. “Let me know the instant you spot any enemy troops.”

As he started moving forward, he glanced to his right. Baker was right with him—as always. He’d never admit it, but her presence was a relief. Even in the chaos of battle, she remained predictable and solid. Confident she had his back, Hwicce let his eyes follow the green line of his projected path.

Constructed of simulated sandstone blocks with glittering gold decorations, the Pharaoh Casino rose from the ground mimicking a temple. The travel brochures said it was as true to the original as possible. Staring at the monument to gambling, Hwicce remained sceptical that the people of Old Earth would ever build anything that tacky. Fortunately, his display didn’t show any enemy forces in view.  

He and Baker passed two bird headed, human bodied statues constructed from the same simulated sandstone as the ticket booth. His head didn’t reach past their shins. He could’ve just stepped into one of the historical vids his daughter loved—except for the flashing neon lights advising him of massive jackpots visible even in the midday sun.

“I thought they shut this place down,” Baker said on their private channel.

“If it’s this tacky under minimal power, I can’t imagine how awful it’d look on full.” He paused to confirm his platoon were in their positions.

Baker snorted. “Maybe the bright lights are to dazzle the patrons into parting with more cash.”

With a chuckle, Hwicce continued forward without looking her way. 

The bright sunlight made the oversized entrance to the casino appear dark. He did a quick IR scan to make sure no one was waiting for them inside.

“Sir.” It was Chang. Hwicce checked, and she was off to his left around the side of the structure. “There’s movement at the west door. We spotted a group of Rokan soldiers entering.”

Hwicce paused. The Rokan were among the plethora of groups that loosely made up the Nadar Alliance military. Rokan soldiers didn’t wear combat armour, but they moved unnervingly fast and tended to show up when least expected. 

“How many?”

“Five.” Chang spoke with the certainty of someone who’d survived many battles.

“Roger that,” Hwicce replied. “Everyone stay alert. We now know for sure there are enemy troops inside.”

“Covering.” Baker dropped to one knee.

Hwicce sprinted as fast as his suit would go until he reached the gaping entrance. Up close, the building loomed overhead nearly blotting out the sun, but his suit quickly adjusted to the lower light levels. Reminding himself the mission was just a routine sweep, he kept his body relaxed as he dropped to one knee beside a pillar fabricated to look like stone. 

Keeping his rifle sights on the dark interior he said, “covering.”

Baker darted forward and behind the pillar on the other side of the entrance.

Resetting the filters on his display for the interior lighting, Hwicce rose and made his way around the pillar. Inside, the ornate atrium, complete with palm trees and rectangular pond, appeared empty. Further in rows of old-school slot machines extended off in multiple lines. The metal machines would block his IR scanner, creating infinite hiding spaces. The enemy could be anywhere.

“They’re on the run,” he reminded himself without activating his comms. He kept his thought from descending into the worst-case scenarios and forced himself to stay focused on the moment.

“Contact!” Fin shouted into the comms link. “The bloody Rokan got behind us. Fucking mutants!” 

Weapon fire sounded from the drop zone. 

“Dammit.” Hwicce started sprinting back that way, with Baker close behind him.

The bird-headed statue on the right disintegrated. A millisecond later, the concussion hit him, throwing back against the casino’s wall. For a moment his heads-up display shorted out. His mind raced through possibilities. Was it an unexplored bomb? A mine? Grenade? His display flashed to life and tactical information returned. Red dots indicated some of his soldiers were down.

“Crap!” Hwicce pushed the rubble off himself and started moving towards the fire fight. “Baker,” he called as he lifted his rifle and looked down the sights. “Where are you?”

The air thirty metres in front of him seemed to swirl as though heat was rising off the pavers. Then a woman appeared. Her pale face was exposed—meaning she wasn’t Rokan. A web of some sort covered her shave head like a cap. Dark cloth cloaked the rest of her and she didn’t appear armed. 

In a flash, she appeared directly in front of him. Her movement seemed impossible, but she didn’t seem threatening. Hwicce deduced she wasn’t a combatant and lowered his weapon.

“Get down.” He gestured towards the ground. He ran a diagnostic routine on his display. The visual band seemed to be glitching—maybe he wasn’t seeing her movement right. “It’s not safe out here.”

She ignored his instruction. Instead, she cocked her head, but her expression remained blank. Yet, she’d clearly heard him. Maybe she was shell shocked.

“Are you lost?” Hwicce took a step closer to her. She would be in the line of fire if she stayed out here. “It’s dangerous—” 

With her palm she struck the chest-plate of his armour. He flew backwards with enough force he went through the casino’s wall.

As Hwicce scrambled to his feet alarms in his armour started sounding. Chest plate integrity down 13%, right rear proximity sensor off-line, servos in both knees near failure. He’d owe the suit techs when he got back to base—but he couldn’t worry about that right now.

“Baker?” His heads-up display flickered, then went dark—leaving him with no idea where anyone was. At least he could still see through his visor. “Baker?”

He was inside the casino now. Other than a Hwicce-in-full-battle-armour-sized hole in the wall, his surroundings were pristine. He glanced back towards the entrance, hoping to see Baker—instead the un-armoured woman stood silhouetted in the light.

“Damnit.” He pulled up his rifle and fired, this time without hesitation. Bolts of light flew towards his adversary. She shimmered and vanished—he’d missed her. Intel had said there would be a new group of super soldiers on the field. They failed to mention anything about teleportation. How was that even possible? Other than the cap, the woman didn’t appear to be carrying much technology. “Crap!”

With a squelch, Hwicce’s comms link returned to life. “We’ve beaten them back,” Fin transmitted.

“Everyone okay?” he asked as he turned looking for either Baker or the mystery woman.

“Just some dented armour,” Fin responded. 

“Good.” Hwicce swallowed, he seemed to be all alone in the casino’s foyer. Where was Baker? “Can you pick up my location?”

“Got you, sir.” 

“I can’t locate Baker. I need backup.”

“We’re on our way.” Fin sounded confident.

Hwicce re-booted his battle computer, but the heads-up display didn’t fully come on, just the IR. At least he was no longer as blind. Turning, he surveyed the casino. The slot machines limited what he could pick up, but a heat signature shone from deeper inside. He couldn’t tell if it was Baker or the enemy. Using the cover of slot machines, he advanced—he knew he should wait for backup, but he kept going anyway worried that Baker needed his help.

Keeping his pulse-rifle at the ready, he circled around slot machine after slot machine. More heat signatures came into view up ahead, but he maintained his slow and steady advance.

“Baker,” he called on the comms. 

The now familiar shimmer materialized ten metres ahead. He aimed and squeezed the trigger just as the woman appeared. She vanished before being struck.

“Crap!” 

His left-rear proximity alarm went off. He swung around, but his failing armour slowed him. With bare hands, the woman struck his left side, sending him flying a second time. 

He skidded into a row of slot machines, causing them to cascade like dominos. He rolled across the floor on the other side, only stopping when he slammed into the bar. The power to his armour failed, and its weight made him slump to the side. He re-booted the armour and to his surprise; it powered back up. But another blow like that, and he might not get lucky a second time. 

He swallowed and tried to focus on the world beyond his display. Who was that woman? And where was she now? As though summoned, the woman appeared in front of him.

“Captain Oswiu.” His comms link to command crackled to life. “We have reports of super soldiers in your area. It’s imperative that you capture one of them.”

He frowned, the staff officers working in command had no idea what it was like on the ground as usual. The super soldier before remained where she was, staring at him—but she hadn’t resumed her attack.

“Acknowledged,” he said before cutting the line. 

His rifle had broken free of his armour and he didn’t know where it was. He was unarmed and uncertain how long until backup would arrive. He swallowed hard, trying to push his fear down. With his eyes fixed on the woman, he pushed himself up to his feet, expecting his armour to fail at any moment.

She took a step back and just stared at him.

“I won’t hurt you. I just want to talk,” he said. “Who are you?”

She froze, then cocked her head. “I don’t know,” she whispered. She scratched her cheek and squished her eyebrows together.

“I’m Hwicce.” He opened the face plate to his helmet and the warm air of the casino dried the sweat on his brow almost instantly. 

The woman met his gaze, her dark eyes boring into him. She said nothing. On the surface, she appeared to be an ordinary human—but clearly she was much more. 

“Were you born this way?” he asked, keeping his tone as friendly as he could. When the generation ships arrived, some people colonized hostile worlds where tweaking their descendant’s genes made sense. Only later did they discover how wrong that idea was. Maybe she was a descendent of one of those strains... or a throwback like Molly... He pushed the thought of his daughter away and focused on the woman in front of him.

After staring up at the ceiling for a moment, she glanced around her surroundings. It was almost as though she was genuinely surprised to be where she was. “Where am I?”

“In the Pharaoh Casino on Candy Cane Lane.” Hwicce took in a deep breath. Maybe he could talk her into coming with him.

Her eyes fixed on him again. “I don’t understand.” She gestured at the toppled slot machines and once opulent Egyptian themed space. “None of this makes any sense.”

“Your right… none of this makes sense.” Keeping his empty palms in sight, he stepped closer, stopping an arm’s length away. “Why don’t you come with me? I can take you somewhere safe.”

Baker popped out from behind a nearby slot machine and fired two blasts at the woman. Before Hwicce could react, the woman vanished.

“Dammit, Baker!” He spun around to see if the woman would reappear. “I’d almost convinced her to come peacefully.”

“Can’t you even be slightly happy I just saved your life.” Baker walked closer and tossed him his weapon. “Sir.”

“Well, I’m glad you aren’t dead—that has to count for something.” Hwicce closed his faceplate and scanned the area on IR. The human heat signatures he’d spotted earlier were still there. “Seriously though, I’m glad you’re okay.”

Baker shrugged, a gesture made comical by the combat armour. “Just a minor set back.”

“Our orders are to bring in that woman.” Hwicce continued surveying the casino, expecting the mysterious woman to materialize at any moment.”

“How are we going keep someone who can teleport as a prisoner?”

It was Hwicce’s turn to shrug. “If we catch her, I vote we hand her off to intel as quick as we can.” He focused on the IR reading deeper in the building. It was the best lead he had. “Follow me.”

“Hell, sir. I’m always willing to follow you.” Baker’s words dripped with her usual sarcasm.

Hwicce groaned and led the way to the back of the casino. They passed through a series of corridors lined with faux hieroglyphics before reaching a ballroom filled with gilded tables and chairs. No windows meant the only illumination came from the emergency lighting. 

Sticking close to the walls, the two of them circled the room—their IR sensors said it was empty.

“Where did she go?” Hwicce muttered under his breath.

“Don’t know, sir.” Baker continued to follow close behind. “That monster had skills.”

Hwicce glanced up at the dark ceiling, then back where they came from. “I’m not convinced she’s a monster.”

“She threw you through a wall.” Baker’s tone was flat.

“Keep moving, soldier,” he grumbled as they reached the doors that could only lead to the kitchen. The IR signature wasn’t far now.

“Yes, sir.”

He paused and checked in with the rest of his troops. Everyone was okay, and they weren’t far behind.

“Moving,” he said as he hit the door release.

“Covering.” Baker took up position beside the doorframe pointing the barrel of her weapon at the door.

As the door slid open, an automatic light came on in the room beyond. It was a kitchen—a massive industrial one. His armour’s augmented hearing picked up a click from a far door closing. 

“They’re running for it.” He broke into a sprint.

“Wait up, sir.” Baker fell in behind him. “Blindly storming a building is normally my thing.”

“I trust you’ll cover me,” Hwicce said as he continued through the doorway, hoping to glimpse the augmented woman from before. They entered a service hallway—the overdone decor now replaced by beige walls with dim overhead lights.

Someone far ahead darted into a side room.

“Stop!” His voice boomed in the confined space as he stormed after his quarry.

With a crunch, his shoulder contacted the doorframe as he rushed through. As pieces of the doorframe tumbled to the ground, he pulled up his weapon and activated the sights. Then his breath caught in his throat.

His wife and daughter cowered before him. Ewa held Molly tight, as if her flesh could protect the little girl. Ewa looked up at him with accusation in her eyes. Hwicce’s hands trembled, and he lowered his rifle.

“Huh, some non-combatants.” Baker followed him into the storeroom.

“They....” His words trailed off as he squeezed his eyes shut knowing what he just saw was impossible. 

“Good thing you didn’t shoot first.” Baker’s tone edged on inappropriate humour. 

Hwicce opened his eyes—it wasn’t his family. Instead, a greenie woman dressed like a hotel attendant stood before him. She pushed her child behind her. Light from the hallway illuminated her green-hued skin. She said nothing, just stared at them.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said to her. “You two need to go to the refugee camp, you’ll be safe there.”

The mother said nothing as she took her child by the hand and filed out of the storeroom. The two of them looked nothing like his family—but they were someone’s family and deserved to be safe. 

He bit his lip. He’d been away fighting when the bombs fell on New Haven. Had Ewa and Molly been forced to hide? What had they gone through? He should’ve been there to help, or at least been there to comfort them after. He swallowed a lump in his through, in the five months since the bombing, he hadn’t even managed to get enough leave to see them in person.

Baker slapped his armour on the shoulder. “Hey sir, you zoning out or something, Chang’s calling you.”

“Right.” Hwicce shook his head. He needed to focus. “Chang, go ahead.”

“We bagged three Rokan,” she said with an edge of excitement in her voice. “Including one of the purple cloaks.”

They weren’t super soldiers, but the Rokan might have useful intel. “Right, package them up. Take care of the purple cloak, they can twist your thoughts.”

“On it. Chang out.”